Beauty and the Beast
I remember when the first trailer for Beauty and the Beast came out, and people starting absolutely losing their minds. Emma Watson is obviously a hot commodity among the millennial crowd, and a live-action retelling of a classic Disney movie seemed perfect — especially considering the recent success of The Jungle Book. Since the movie came out, I’ve seen people come down on either side of the fence. Some loved it, some definitely did not. Unfortunately, I fall into the second camp.
I just don’t think there’s a good reason for this movie to exist. There wasn’t a single song, scene, or moment that I thought was done better in this new version, and the stuff that was added didn’t really add much value. Beast’s song atop his castle was pretty well done, but that’s about it. The performances were all over the place, with a surprisingly soulless performance by Kevin Kline, a too flat turn by Dan Stevens as Beast, and an incredibly boring and one-note take on Belle by Emma Watson. I thought Luke Evans was the standout as Gaston, but his over-the-top portrayal felt a little weird compared to the other actors. Josh Gad is normally brilliant, and has some moments of comedy here as LeFou, but his character too felt like he was from another movie. Not to dive too deep into it, but I think it’s cool to see a gay character in a Disney movie, even though it wasn’t super out in the open. However, I thought the writing and acting felt a little pandering for LeFou, like they were playing at a homosexual character, not actually creating a real one. The vocal performances by our CG denizens of the castle were mostly fine, but the animation and designs were certainly creepy and kind of bad.
The singing was also so over-produced it was hard to even recognize some of it as human voices. Emma Watson especially sounded like a robot monotonously talking on pitch, but her wooden, emotionless acting is also to blame for that. I just don’t understand how Hollywood can look at all of the phenomenal actor/singers there are and still say “nah, we’ll cast someone who clearly can barely carry a tune. We’ll fix it in post.” It’s frustrating. Luke Evans again is the standout vocalist, and thankfully brings some damn emotion and fun to his songs.
Finally, I think it’s kind of lying to call this thing a “live action” adaptation considering the over-reliance on CG characters and scenes. I don’t envy Emma Watson trying to act in front of a green screen with a bunch of green tennis balls on sticks, but I suppose she signed up for it. To re-iterate my point, I just don’t think this movie deserves to exist. That might sound harsh, but in a world where it seems like more sequels and remakes are announced every day, these movies need to earn their keep. If you’re too lazy to come up with a new idea, at least don’t be too lazy to add some value to your existing stuff. Beauty and the Beast falls even flatter in that category than most of Lumiére’s jokes. Zing. Also, why’d they have to drag poor Sir Ian McKellen into this?
5.6/10
The Great Wall
The Great Wall will not go down as one of Yimou Zhang’s best films. For those that don’t know, he’s the famed Chinese director of such classics as Hero and The House of Flying Daggers. The Great Wall absolutely captures his flair for color and spectacle, but unfortunately, it doesn’t carry along the character depth or affecting story of his other films.
There just isn’t much to this movie. The writing isn’t particularly good, which is a surprise considering it came from some of the writers behind Narcos and the Bourne movies (which also might explain why Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal signed on to star). And the movie just takes itself way too seriously considering the concept. I mean, it’s a movie that says the Great Wall of China was built to keep out an alien horde of monsters that attacks every sixty years. That sounds super dumb — because it is — but a fun story could have still been told with the right amount of tongue in cheek. The Great Wall has none of that, with the only levity coming from some charming back and forth between Damon and Pascal. Willem Dafoe is also randomly in this movie, but he only really serves as a plot device.
As a little added backstory, the movie follows Damon and Pascal as two soldiers/adventurers/thieves from Spain as they travel to China to trade for some newly invented (and highly explosive) black powder. They get caught up in this defensive war because Matt Damon can’t help but save everyone at every opportunity. There was a good deal of “white savior” rhetoric that followed this movie, and I totally understand why it was perceived in that way. But I will say that the movie does go out of its way to not make Damon’s character any more powerful than absolutely necessary, and certainly no more powerful than our other heroes. He is our main character, so of course he’s a badass, but it isn’t at the expense of other characters’ skills. In fact, one might argue that Tian Jing’s Commander Mae is the true hero of the story. She’s incredibly awesome and wears some killer blue armor, to boot.
Even the reasoning behind a non-Asian lead makes sense from a story perspective. The whole story hinges on the true nature of the Great Wall being a secret, so it took an outsider coming in to blow the whole thing wide open, so to speak. Still, I completely understand the complaint and it is kind of disappointing that they felt the need to cast an A-list white actor to try and make the movie work for a larger audience. Especially considering the whole thing was a flop anyway.
All in all, The Great Wall is a fairly paint by numbers monster movie with some exciting visuals. They definitely aren’t enough to carry the movie on their own, but Zhang sure does know how to do scale. Some of the effects were surprisingly below average considering the budget and talent behind the movie, but the music adds to the tension and epic nature of the action. I think with some better writing and more acknowledgment of how silly this movie really is, The Great Wall could have come out okay. Unfortunately, it takes itself way too seriously and is held back by the uninspired, rote nature of the plot.
5.9/10
The Magnificent Seven
I was pretty excited for The Magnificent Seven when it was announced. It wasn’t one of those movies I had to rush to the theatre to see (as seen by my review that’s a year late), but I knew I wanted to watch it. I’m definitely glad I did — because it’s a pretty fun action movie — but it doesn’t feel all that special.
For context, this new version is a modern remake of the 1960 classic, which is in turn a Western re-telling of the Japanese classic, Seven Samurai. Some creative liberties are taken with the new movie when compared to the original, but that’s to be expected with any remake. The movie succeeds from a Western action movie perspective — it has plenty of gun fights, mysterious characters, stare downs, and thinly veiled threats. They try to sell some larger emotional impact that the movie never truly earns, but it’s satisfying enough when taken at face value.
The story follows a young woman hiring a bunch of outlaw types to help win back her small mining town from an evil dude. There’s a montage of them meeting each other, getting the town ready for a fight, etc. It’s all pretty straight-forward, but fun and interesting enough.
All of the performances are pretty good, too. The film centers around Denzel Washington, who I sometimes find a bit flat. He’s a good actor, but he’s been in so many dramas that his performances tend to blend together in my mind. He’s good in this one, though, and he helps sell the history and personal importance of this mission despite not revealing the true nature until the end. Chris Pratt is as charming as ever, and brings some much needed levity to the proceedings. The dude is just so naturally funny and easy to watch. The other characters are more forgettable, but fit well into their chosen Western archetypes — the murderous Mexican, the silent Native American, the bombastic hunter, the slimy quick-dealing business type, the badass Asian cowboy/ninja. Like I said, not super fresh, but interesting enough.
Everything in the movie builds to the final confrontation — these seven men, the woman who hired them, and the local townspeople who have barely ever fired a gun, against the trained and paid army of Bartholomew Bogue. The heroes set traps, get in position, and wait. Action ensues. There’s a bit of a clown car attitude to the proceedings, where it doesn’t matter how many bad guys they kill, more seem to always be coming. But it’s certainly fun to watch the traps come into effect and the good guys shoot some shit. The stakes never feel as high as they should because we’re never really made to care about the townspeople, but the action makes up for this. There were definitely some scenes that stretched my ability to believe what was happening (Chris Pratt’s dynamite scene among them), but I’m willing to overlook those types of things in a modern Western like this. The genre is known for always including a bit of cheese, after all.
Western movies seem to come and go nowadays, and the genre has never really come back full force. We’ve had successes like Django Unchained, and other movies like Hell of High Water have had a Western feel, if not a Western setting, but I’ve never felt like the genre has been back. And that’s too bad, because Westerns are badass when done right. The Magnificent Seven didn’t set the world on fire, and it certainly didn’t do much new with its familiar concept, but it was a fun ride while it lasted. For now, that’s enough.
8.2/10
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and be sure to check out my other Quickie Reviews!
One thought on “Quickie Reviews #33”